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| The persistent need to spread joy is an innate part of me.... was. I want to climb to the highest cliff to scream at the top of my lungs and hear it echo.... As a counter effect, I guess there's a lot of rage in my tiny little self. Excuse my current baffled mood, I'll recover splendidly. | | |
| As a child I wished for an unboring life. I wanted twists and turns, just like in the movies. I wanted suspence. What I want most in life I didn't want to come easy, I wanted to fight for it and I wanted it to be something worth fighting for. I wanted to strive and succeed a lot. I want to have strong appreciation for the rewards I earn. Gosh I wish I never wished that. Now I just wish for the simple life, I want all the challenges and drama to disappear. Maybe I just got more twists and turns than what I asked for.
playful, juvenile innocence, and necesity to create joy. I believe in preparing for the future. Also I believe in creating good memories. I like to enjoy what I have while I have it. Balance, though, is very important. How I measure a good person is how they view and treat other people. I like the golden rule. That is who I am... what I find endearing about myself and what I'd like to be appreciated for.
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| Today I woke up fully restored from the ailment of the past few days. I actually popped out of bed like a ball of energy with a heightened determination to get things done. I'm not sure how to characterize my current mood, but all that life and spunk I woke up with has been spent. I'm dead tired. I spent a large portion of my day just writing. Althogh it may have been nonsense what I wrote, and no one would ever get to read it, it was a good exercise to get my mind jogging again, and I have something to say. This is me, I like simplicity. My expressions, my actions, my language... everything straight forward and in the fewest words possible. I dislike ellaboration, and I love nutshells. And even in this goofy diction, excuse me I'm not very much awake now, I want to say that there is too much of me to fit into a tiny little nutshell. Underneath this simple exterior, there is a very complex person with a very complicated mind. I think I've allowed to netshell to swallow me in and close up around me. Before i am forgotten, I'd like to remind the world of my existence. ... crawling out... :) | | |
| Correction, kimmy didn't say it was no good, it just wasn't "as" good.
Also Kelly would like to see her name appear at least once in my xanga, hence this ridiculous and pointless addition to the previous entry.
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| It's so hot that cold water doesn't even taste cold today. Or maybe I'm just crazy and it really wasn't cold water that I was drinking. Either way, this hot weather is doing no good. It's affecting both the water and my ability to percieve temperature.
I can't wait to use my iPhone... gosh I hate waiting for things... but if there was nothing to anticipate in life, then I don't see what the point is. Right? Whatever I have bigger, more important things to look forward to. I do not like having to wait around for something so minor. Oh well it will remain futile in its box for another week or so.
Kitty is funny. We've been watching her this week since Jamie was in Chicago. She has this wierd thing fro grass. It's funny... she'd find a nice patch of grass and just roll around in it for minutes... She gets so into it, that it looks like she's having seizures :) And that dog LOVES yogurt! and Beef jerky too! She's really a doggy, and her name is Kitty. However, based on her behaviors, she resembles a piggy the most! not to mention she looks like a wolf. This dog is so dynamic :) I like her.
You asked me if I'd like to find out what would happen. I had an immediate answer, but I didn't want to say. The answer is no. I really really wouldn't. I got a taste of it a little while back and I didn't like it. I can foresee that it would be a darker moment than any other moment I've experienced up to this point. I don't like being dependant upon anything to insure my own stability or security or whatever you call it. Ideally I'd like to stand on my own two feet and just be. The road I travel is uncommonly rough and sometimes it is a struggle for my feet to bear. Even so I had been able to manage it just fine. This is not a complaint. I don't want a crutch to put my weight on and just carry me through. It's the comfort, encouragement, and companionship that augments the daily experiences. It's more like a luxury that I don't have to have, but that I've grown so attached to. It'd be hard to let it go and continue on the same road with two feet again instead of four. I've always thought things through by weighing between my mind and my heart, and my mind had always been dominant among the two. Now I know some matters of the heart are so strong that they can easily disengage all of which the mind is capable of perceiving. I don't prefer that, but I'm learning more and more of what emotions I am capable of. I used to have a heart of stone, no emotions whatsoever and I had a good time, just wandering every which way, not worrying about where I'd end up or how I'd get back to the start. I know now that my emotions once uncovered are seemingly impossible to force back into their once dormant state and it challenges my mind's authority. My mind tells me that if it happens to be so, that I would find an even bigger, more disasterous emotion unleashed. I wish not to know it because however great and wonderful an emotion that exists, there is an equal and opposite one that awaits on the other end, one that would set me back an enormous amount.
What i want is to be all that I could be, and hopefully it'll be what you expect of me if not more. What i want for you, what you deserve, all that I want you to have. Whatever it is, whoever it is. Instead of sitting there idly wishing for things, find ways to get it, work for it right? Well, I wish, I wish, I wish I were a fish too.
This entry was produced out of boredom, and it actually is about a dog... or from the stand point of a dog through my own interpretation of that dog based on its behaviors.. blah blah blah blah and that dogs name does not start with an H nor does it end with and N and that dog did not write it's own entry... and no that dog is not really a real person.... and no I am NOT CRAZY!
and Kimmy says Harry Potter is no good.
ok this entry has been killed... good bye
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